Why You Can’t Always React to Everything
Your reaction ultimately determines the strength of your character
You know that feeling you get when someone walks slowly on a busy sideways, gets on your nerves, or talks too much during a movie—and your initial reaction is to respond quickly.
That is what they call giving away your power—to people or situation.
It’s something we are all guilty of; myself included. When you are offended, teased or annoyed by someone, your first reaction is to get angry and protect your ego. The ego wants to protect itself at all times — causing you to always react negatively to things that you don’t need to react to.
It can be hard to break out of a habit and reactions can become like habits.
Altering how you react may take time and lots of reminders. You may need to try a few different things to learn what helps you change how you react.
You don't control what happens — only how you respond
It’s in our human nature to respond emotionally to situations—sometimes in ways, we don’t like.
We all react differently to situations and people. Some people are very disciplined when faced with a difficult or negative situation—while others give in to the temptation to get angry emotionally or get back at someone. It’s easy to get mad or angry at people — it’s another thing to remain discipline when someone pushes your buttons.
If people know you react emotionally to everything; they have the power to control you.
For a long time, I used to struggle with my emotions. Whenever something bad happens, my mind would go straight to negative self-talk. It became a habit that I couldn’t break. Until I started practising self-compassion—I replaced the negative self-talk with positive self-talk.
Saying things like. ‘I am good enough’, ‘I am loved’ and ‘I am worthy’.
This reminds me, the difficult emotions I experienced doesn’t mean I’m not a good person.
Pausing for a moment
How often do you find yourself arguing or getting angry at someone because of a disagreement? It’s something we all experience — but it usually leads to a response we don’t like. We rarely ever take a moment to pause for a second before our natural reaction takes over.
But the thing is—most of the time we end up doing something that we later regret. I’ve discovered through my trials and tribulations — it's better to learn how to respond instead of reacting.
Take a deep breath and think:
How is this situation making me feel?
Why is it making me feel like this?
How do I want to respond to this?
Taking a moment to breathe and think before you act is a great first step towards changing the way you respond to things. It helps you—separate your feelings from actions. It’s important to recognise you don’t need to act on a feeling when you get upset or angry.
Reflect
Do you take the time to reflect on your past reactions and behaviours?
It can be really helpful to take the time to reflect on your past reactions, behaviours and actions. This is where journaling can be a useful tool. Write down what has happened, how you reacted to it, and what you would like to do differently next time.
It is a great way to recognise our actions and then try to change them.
Reflecting can also give you a chance to weigh up if your response affected anyone else. You may realise that you need to apologise to someone for how you responded in the moment.
It can also be a great way of focusing on your thoughts and feelings—self-awareness.
Takeaways
If you actively work at changing how you react to things — you’ll soon find it easier to manage how you respond when tough times come along. While you may still experience confusing feelings or thoughts, you’ll be able to separate yourself from them and not respond in a way you’ll later regret.
You’ll be able to recognise, ‘this is how I’m feeling right now, nut this feeling will pass and I will be okay.’