Why do we keep making f***ing excuses?

When you take action, you become more competent...

Photo by Zack Jarosz

Hey friends,

If you are like me, you’re guilty of making excuses from time to time, this little habit can ultimately stop you from achieving success. 

So many people in life get hung up on excuses—feeling that can’t go out for a better job, start their own business, or take whatever risk because…whatever it might be. I’m guilty of this, when I first started writing, I made so many excuses before I started. I realised we’re great at justifying the status quo, because we know exactly what that’s like, even if it’s dissatisfying. The unknown can feel terrifying, but somewhere in that same realm where anything could go wrong; everything can go right. Excuses are like noses, we all have one. The interesting thing is, so many times in my life I’ve finally pushed myself to do something and then wondered, “Why did I wait so long?” If I had known the benefits would far outweigh my fear and discomfort, I would’ve pushed myself sooner. 

The reality is though, we have the ability to make the positive change to be who we want to be and to stop letting excuses stand in our way of a better education, future and lifestyle. When you can train yourself to these flimsy ideas for what they are, and stop trying treating them as a brick wall in your path, you can move past them towards your own success.

Believing in yourself is half the battle. 

In my efforts to keep moving beyond comfort zone, I’ve complied the top excuses not to go after a dream, along with a few reminders to help overcome them. 

“I’m not good enough” 

You make excuses because you’re scared to make mistakes. 

Mistakes might seem like the end of the world to you, however, mistakes are actually valuable and can make you a better person. I’ve learned the most from my mistakes then wins; when you hit a wall and figure out a way out, it improves your confidence and believe in yourself. Reminder: failure is the mother of success. Think about the mistakes you’ve made in your life and consider the ways that it shared your mindset and added strength to your character. Mistakes give you the opportunity to acquire skills, shape your body of knowledge and improve your personal development. 

It’s important to see mistakes as being beneficial and critical part of your life and embrace them. If you make excuses to avoid mistakes, you may miss out on some of your biggest mistakes that could have ended up being your best learning experiences.

Take measures to step out of your comfort zone and learn to embrace mistakes. Carol S. Dweck puts it perfectly, “Learn to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning.” 

“I don’t have the time or resources” 

No matter where you are in life, you’ll never have enough resources or find the perfect time to start something. 

Most people think they lack the resources to go after their dreams, start a business or begin content blogging. This may be true but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t attempt or get started. I’m very guilty of this mindset, you tell yourself you don’t have the time, money, or education to pursue something. However, the way you choose to spend your time and money is how you define the priorities. Would you be willing to make the time or spend the money to gain the education that you need? Examine closely how you spend your time, and you’ll see where your priorities truly lies. There are very few commitments in life that are truly non-negotiable. 

It’s never too late to get do something you love or want to try. Allowing yourself to fall into the trap of the idea that you don’t have time to do what you want shows you don’t want it bad enough.

There will always be something in the way, the goal is to push through the discomfort and fear; get to the other side. 

“I’m scared to fail” 

Uncertainty keeps a lot of people from attempting their dreams. The fear of uncertainty makes you worry about the unknown future events or circumstances that could come your way.

It’s something most people struggle with, myself included. Uncertainty makes people uncomfortable because they don’t have enough experience to give them confidence. People don’t realise that the more we do something, the more competence we develop for it, the more we fuel our inner self-belief, and the more confident we become at it. Without experience and perspective, people often make assumptions or jump to conclusions about possible outcomes that could negatively affect them. Certainty is an illusion that comes from comfort, but just because something’s comfortable; that doesn’t mean it’s permanent.

You can overcome the fear of uncertain using Tim Ferris “Fear Setting” concept. The idea is to develop an operating system for thriving high stress environments. It’s a way to visualise all the bad things that could happen to you, so you become less afraid of taking action.

“When we give ourselves permission to fail, we at the same time, give ourselves permission to excel.” —Eloise Ristad

When you take action, you become more competent. 

“I’m waiting for the right time/conditions”

As you get older, you’ll realise that all of us tend to put off living. I truly believe procrastination is the fear of success. 

People procrastination because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move forward ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the “someday I’ll” and “I’ll do it tomorrow” philosophy. We are so scared of being judged that we look for every excuse to procrastinate. I learned awhile back, procrastination is like a credit card: it’s a lot of fun until you get the bill. I no longer wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has got to get down to work. When we give ourselves permission to fail, we, at the same time, give ourselves permission to excel.

Waiting for the “right conditions” is like the fisherman sitting on the banks, waiting for the fish; but never putting the hook in the water, that is to say, it’s pointless. “

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” 

Final Thoughts

When you make an excuse, you aren’t even giving yourself a shot to succeed, which can limit you in every area of your life. 

You’ll never know what you are capable of if you have excuses for everything that comes your way. Excuses can hold you back from a lot of things, including getting further in your career, getting healthier and creating better habits. When it comes to your own future, making excuses is a habit that is limiting your ability to meet your full potential. Don’t settle for less by naming excuses because you don’t want to put the forth effect to change yourself. 

It’s important to make the best of every situation instead and never make an excuse that is not valid. 

Stay mindful,

Pach